I love most things about December. But, all the talk of last minute shopping and food preparation timetables can take its toll on a fragile psyche. If you’re alone, or surrounded by family, this time of year can be as tough as it is joyous. However, as a formerly frazzled, Iet me tell you what I’ve come to learn and maybe we can all feel a bit less hellish.
For me, it’s all about the weeks of wandering around high street, festive decorations and glittery window displays everywhere you turn. Once the day rolls around, you realise: there it goes, see you in a year.
So, if it’s over before we know it, how do we make the most out of the festive season without spending all of our time feeling frazzled? After spending a good few Christmas just the two of us (as a result of either my partner’s job or the global pandemic we had), I think I’ve nailed it. Allow me an opportunity to convert you to a lower stress alternative.
The best thing I ever did as an adult is learn everyone’s favourite fragrances. Perfume is my favourite gift to give and receive. Men’s, women’s, unisex, I don’t care. Chanel Bleu will forever remind me of my high school prom. And Black Opium? Every night out with my best friend. As a gift, the right scent can make even my sloppiest of days feel luxurious.
A trip to The Fragrance Shop, or a walk around the beauty floor at John Lewis, activates the most primal part of my brain. Suddenly, I’m 10 years old, on a Christmas shopping trip to Chester with my Nanna. Let’s stop for lunch in BHS (full Christmas dinner, please!), then off to Boots for the two for one gift sets. My mouth waters for that muddle of top notes, indistinguishable, but not overwhelming. Bottle that up and I’ll be your most loyal customer.
Nowadays, I’m betrothed to Eden Perfumes. I came across them for the first time on a trip to Brighton while I was in university. Staying with a friend in a seafront hostel, this strange shop with big bottles nailed to the wall was the height of luxury. In reality, they’re just a great vegan alternative to all the designer brands. You name it, they, uh… pay homage. They’re also much cheaper and they even do candles now.
For those spending the season alone, lean into those Whatsapp group chats. Chances are, even those at home with the extended family are feeling just as lonely and out of sorts. Times of tradition and ritual have the ability to unsettle as much as they soothe. We remember, for better or worse. The nostalgia is inescapable. So, if you’re not feeling yourself, give a friend a call. Send them a snap of your M&S dauphinois and your fluffy socks. It might be exactly the kind of grounding they too need to get through the stifling feeling of being an adult in your childhood home. But if it’s all still feeling too much, don’t be afraid to switch off and rejoin the world on Boxing Day.
Now, food is where I worry I’m going to lose you. My brother’s presence requires a turkey that feeds at least 8-12 people. If you’re a fan of the dry stuff, please hear me out: you do not need a bird that big. Nobody does. Christmas is an event brought to life by sides. It’s all about maple roast parsnips, and caramelised carrots. Roast potatoes are what make or break the meal, not the meat. I say this as a both a glutton and an advocate for excess, it’s only going to be drowned in gravy anyway.
I must be upfront, I’ve not eaten meat in a decade, so I can’t give you any meaningful turkey tips. But I promise, an M&S nut roast will always looks more festive than a weird slab of vegetable protein resembling a turkey joint. If the fake meat is your thing (it’s certainly mine most of the time), lean in. But if you’re worried about catering for any carnivores, give it a miss. They’ll only let you know with every bite how weird it is.
My general rule is that a roast shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes to prepare and cook. Some things are worth a little extra work, but in general, the pay off does not warrant the stress. If you’re living, or just spending the big day alone, this is enough time to keep you busy without making too much washing up for yourself. Sprouts, carrots, parsnips and potatoes can all be tossed in vegetable oil and shoved on the same tray. Though you might want to pop the sprouts in 10-15 minutes before the end.
If, like me, you grew up in a home where pre-prepared vegetables indicated a moral failure worthy of ostracisation, allow me to ease your concerns. Those bags of pre-peeled and chopped carrots? Buy them and save money elsewhere. Everyone’s expectations are so heightened on Christmas day, and if you’re anything like me, once I’m feeling frazzled, it’s hard for enjoyment to come anywhere near to meeting expectation. The truth is, no one will know or care how much time you spent slaving over the root veg.
For fellow non-drinkies out there, Nosecco is a fun novelty and it’s only £3. But a can Diet Coke is just as perfect. It can be a nervous time of year to navigate the ‘why aren’t you drinking?’ conversation and ‘because I was previously mad and still have the potential to be mad’ can suck the air right out of the room. But once everyone sees that you’re just as comfortable, having just as much fun as they are, it’ll be yesterday’s news in no time. If they’ve experienced the mad, they’ll probably be glad your tipple is now 99% sparkling water, 1% artificial sweetener anyway.
Time spent on the sofa watching reruns of the Vicar of Dibley on GOLD is invaluable. Boxes of mince pies don’t eat themselves. For the few days a year we might all actually come together, nothing much really needs to happen at all. This year I bought a vegan alternative to a tin of Quality Street, and everyone was dying to look at the little menu and see how everything compared, even if the overpriced chocolates were a bit rubbish. We went to M&S on Christmas Eve to look for mince pies and ended up just having a coffee in Cafe Nero. Nothing needs to go to plan. Sometimes just saying ‘fuck it’ is all it takes to pierce the tension and make everything more fun for everyone involved.
Tim Wynne 