I did a fair bit of traveling here and there in February, and what’s better than a long train ride for doing some reading? Well, maybe not my journey back from Liverpool to Cardiff. I’ve never been in a carriage packed so tightly in my life. But I won’t dwell on that for too long, because other than those hellish 4 hours, it’s been a great month!
Let’s start with Claire Keegan’s Foster. I was bitten by the bug when I read Small Things Like These in January. Foster’s writing is so beautiful that she manages to make novels as short as these two feel every bit as hard hitting as an epic. In fact, perhaps the shorter length is what lends itself so well to such beautiful storytelling. It’s not just the level of emotional detail that makes her such a phenomenal writer, the real skill is how nothing feels spare. Every sentence is so rich, you won’t be worried about Keegan running out of words.
Next was Pamela Anderson’s fabulous memoir Love, Pamela. And let me tell you before we get into it; if you haven’t signed up for Pam’s newsletter, you’re missing out. I look forward to her weekly journals more than I do to my Saturday Starbucks.
For a relatively short memoir, I was impressed by how much of Anderson’s life is covered. My favourite chapters were the one’s where the author dove head first into some of the wildest stories of her political activism. Such as taking vegan meals to Edward Snowdon, or challenging Russian politicians on their animal rights policies. Not only is Pamela fearless, her perspective is crystal clear.
I love romance. I have to say it. The cheesier the better. But occasionally you stumble across something special. May Archer’s The Easy Way was something special. Besides hitting on some of the most tried and true romance tropes, Archer manages to work in exciting plot, giving her characters not just carefully detailed emotional stakes, but some dramatic ones too.
Finally this Feb, I went back for another Anglesey Crime Thriller from Simon McCleave. In Too Deep follows DI Laura Hart as she officially gets back to work. Now, I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: McCleave’s care in building DI Hart’s backstory is really where these novels shine. Nothing is throwaway. Chuck in some double agents for the Real IRA and murder on the Isle of Angelsey, and you’re in for another ride!
McCleave did not disappoint, but now I’ve got three more months until the next installment!
Overall, another fabulous month. I can wholeheartedly recommend everything I read in Feb. Genre-wise, there’s something for everyone at the very least!
I’ve written quite a bit about moving from a small town to the city, and all the benefits that come along with 24-hour supermarkets, and ordering warm cookie dough at 2am. But while I was on my afternoon stroll today, I couldn’t help but think about the benefits of a small-town childhood. Namely, appreciating the most basic of retail outlets.
I should make it clear, when I say small town, I’m referring to the relatively small town centre. The reality is that Colwyn Bay has a modest population of 34,000. A fact that is all the more jarring when compared to Llandudno – dinging in at only 20,000. Especially when you take into account how vast Llandudno’s seafront is and how great it is for shopping.
What struck me the most when I got to reminiscing, was how, despite the relatively limited retail outlets, what we had was within such short walking distance. Obviously this comes partly down to the fact that my parents bought a house in such a central location. But also to how small towns are organised. Everything, no matter how limited, is usually within a relatively short distance of one another. And what Colwyn Bay had (and mostly still has) is a theatre, a supermarket, a fabulously rundown W.H. Smith’s (that I miss dearly) and a handful of pubs, cafes and market stalls that pepper the high street. It even had the smallest branch of New Look you’ll have ever seen (and how I worked that tiled floor in my faux Docs, and my even faux-er clip in extensions).
Right, where was I? Oh, yes! I would like to mount a passionate defense of W.H. Smith. Sure, some branches might not be able to compete with the range of choices available somewhere like Waterstones, or have the same level of customer care as an independent book shop. But what they did have were the very brand of soapy, commercial novels that instilled my love of reading.
Where else does an 18 year-old small town queer flock to for menthol fags and a Marian Keyes paperback? How about the endless hardback notebooks, waiting to be filled with what I did in work that day and what boy off Grindr cancelled a date to get his hair braided (yes, that happened)? W.H. Smith! And where else would one of my straight male best friends go to purchase the naked issue of Gay Times for my 16th birthday (yes, that also happened!).
So, let’s cut the shop some slack. The little one’s in train stations and airports are even quite nice (sometimes). I can spend anywhere upwards of 25 minutes going round-and-round the tiny aisles, filling my arms with bottles of water, cans of Coke Zero, awful falafel wraps, and a trashy mag for good measure. The one in Cardiff Central even has a fabulous little Costa counter, where for an extortionate amount of money, you can walk away with two packets of Percy Pigs and a very milky Oat Latte. What is not to love?!
In a world of increasing choice, and a decreasing high street, I feel exceptionally well-placed to avoid the burnout that comes with too much choice. And absolutely inoculated against the disappointment of a dwindling number of brick-and-mortar shops. Because as long as there’s a clapped-out old Smiths, everything will be alright.
Come September, it will be 8 years since I left home and moved to Cardiff. I suppose, for lots of people, when you’ve grown up in a small town, there is a tendency to feel as though so much of our personality is defined by how we adapt to life in bigger, busier places. We start to see ourselves as an evolution of who we once were. And there’s no wonder, especially if we’ve spent years trying to figure out how to make life go faster. Then, once we’re on the ride, all we’re doing is trying to hold on.
But, honestly, I think the only part of me that’s really changed is my threshold for inconvenience. I now know that I am truly spoiled by choice and my patience is ruined. I didn’t expect to find myself getting irrationally angry at shops and cafes closing at 5pm. That being said, in December, I discovered that Colwyn Bay now has Uber. Yes, that’s right, my parents can now order a takeaway or a taxi from an app. Though I’d certainly be surprised if they ever did.
Something I was always grateful for, living in North Wales, was that the town I grew up was relatively well served by public transport. Even if I am constantly shocked by how much more expensive a day ticket is. So, on my birthday, Rob and I got the train to Bangor. A city with a high street that gets more than it’s fair share of criticism. Though, if you’ve grown up in the area and watched shops slowly disappear from the city centre, only to relocate on retail parks on the outskirts of Caernarfon Road, it would be impossible not to feel as though the life is being slowly drained away from the town.
What I think punches above it’s weight, is Bangor’s independent retailers, keeping the city alive. Whenever I go home, I’m always itching to hop on the number 5 bus, or catch to train to go digging around Mudshark. The very shop where I bought my first ever record (Bjork’s Homogenic, if you must know), and continue to find just about anything I might be looking for. Spiritually, it reminds me of visiting Cob Records, just down the other end of the high street, when I was a child. An event so exciting that it had my parents and two brothers, all crammed into my Dad’s car with fresh batteries in our Walkmans.
Cob lives on in Porthmadog, but for a long time, the Bangor location was up there with Kavern Records in Llandudno as the one of the most reliable and well-stocked music retailers in North Wales. Mudshark is really all about the vinyl revival though. And their emphasis on speciality and local artists makes it all the more exciting. I’ve been going there since I was doing my A-Levels, back when they were crammed into their old spot, opposite the New Look (also still kicking), and I’m glad to see them still thriving.
What I wasn’t prepared for, was how easy it was to find somewhere that serves vegan food. Domu, previously an Irish pub, making their green facade seem doubly appropriate, was a real revelation. The cafe is run by husband and wife Dale (a founding member of The Smiths) and Svet (Classical musician and music teacher). Both take on the roles of Chef and front of house, and I must say, were exceptionally lovely on the Tuesday afternoon we visited. I had a pumpkin stew with rice, Rob had the chilli. Neither disappointed. With only a week and half of 2022 left, we were both in agreement as we left that this was easily our top meal of the year.
Even the oat lattes and chocolate tart we had to top it off were faultless. And the place was packed. We managed to grab the last available table and straight away Svet was over to explain that they still had ‘plenty of everything.’ Everything, as it happens, is made in batches in the morning and sold until it’s gone. All in the spirit of an Eastern European roadside cafe. So, I was glad we got there just after midday for an early lunch. I couldn’t quite believe the amount of cakes and pastries (savoury and sweet) that were on offer. Note: if you visit, the chocolate tart was somehow both the richest, and lightest thing I’ve ever eaten.
Eventually, we made our way onto the pier. Bangor Pier is one of my all time favourite places. A colleague of mine who studied in Bangor told me that she recently visited with her husband, all with the purpose of having a scone at the Pier Pavilion. A cafe that serves just about anything you could imagine (salads, baguettes, toasties, soup, cakes – all with vegan options). We had another two coffees, along with a slice of lemon cake to share (it was my birthday, after all).
Garth Pier juts out over the Menai Straits, and on a windy day, anything that isn’t bolted down has a good chance of being lost forever. But the little huts at the end are the perfect spot to catch your breath, tighten your scarf, and mentally prepare yourself for the return walk. While Llandudno ‘s Victorian Pier might be filled to capacity with things to do on a day out (arcades, fairground rides, tat shops galore and more chippies than a seagull could ever dream of), Garth Pier is more understated. It’s somewhere to stop for a coffee and unwind. And all for a suggested donation of 50p.
It took us a few attempts to work the card reader. In the end, the attendant suggested we try again on our way out, or if all else fails ‘just pay next time’. In the end, it thankfully went through. Saving me the guilt of having to leave the friendliest volunteer I’d ever met empty-handed. As Pier of the Year 2022, it was more than worth the £1 entry for both of us. And following a successful trial after the 2017 restoration, even dogs are welcome now.
Sure, everything might close on a Sunday. And yes, shops close earlier than I’m now accustomed to. But every visit reminds me of how inconsequential endless choice is when everything that is on offer is so beautiful. It’s not hard to find yourself imagining what life would be like popping out for a scone and a coffee on Saturday mornings. Or with all that endless space to walk the dog. I left for the train full, and with that ever present ache until we next return.
It’s been as good as a Sunday can get. We went to the shops, stocked up on spices (the only cupboard at my parents that can lack a bit of oumph). Rob let me pick everything I wanted for my birthday from Holland & Barrett. Yes, I know it’s strange to want all my gifts from there, but I just love the place. And I’ve just had the best roast dinner of my life. Home-cooked by my lovely Mum.
Carrots, brussel sprouts and vegan pigs in blankets, seasoned and on a roasting tray.
It’s the roast, by the way, that’s got me thinking. Thinking about roasts. And I’ve had a huge epiphany. Again, about roasts.
When you’re a vegan or a vegetarian, there’s a tendency, in my experience, to make up for an often underwhelming centre piece with as many side dishes as possible. For me, that’s filling the oven to the brim with as many different types of vegetable as possible, and roasting them until they’re golden and caramelised and perfect in every way. Except the thing about my roasts is, there’s always something that isn’t quite right. And now I know why.
Like many people, I have a tendency to put too much on my plate. Metaphorically and literally. So, when it comes to making a roast dinner, I’m always out of my element. I worry about timing everything perfectly. Don’t you know, everything needs to be ready at the same time? Even if I haven’t got the counter space to take everything out of the oven together.
Tenderstem brocoli in a frying pan with olive oil, garlic, chilli flakes and salt.
Stuffing is also a bit of a difficult topic for the non-meaties. We aren’t exactly stuffing anything, anywhere. So, what exactly are we trying to accomplish? Don’t even get me started on the redundancy of cooking stuffing to compliment a nut roast.
So, it’s time to simplify. Cut back on all of the unnecessary rubbish. If you’ve got one small oven and a kitchen so tiny it rivals that of a camper-van, perhaps it might be best to save yourself the hassle and downsize Sunday dinner.
Cut the carbs. One type of potato is enough. Roast it. Mash is for sausages and onion gravy. Pick two veg that take the same time to roast, and only peel what can fit alongside a frozen nut roast. They’re just not worth making yourself. Even if it’s delicious, Sunday is stressful enough without washing lentils and finely chopping carrots and onions.
Heat the bloody oil first. Everybody tells you it’s essential for crispy roasties. And I’ve never believed them. But here I am, listening, receiving, changing. Wack the pan on the hob for a few minutes, or if you’re too nervous, like me, do it in a frying pan and transfer to a roasting dish once you’ve given them a zhuzh.
Don’t underestimate sausage and mash. It’s a respectable dish.
Finally, if you’re going to go through the effort of making a vegan cauliflower cheese, cashew sauce and all, leave the broccoli for a weekday stir-fry. It’s just not worth the complication of different cooking times. Minimise the opportunity for something to go wrong. Focus on maximising pleasure. More of a good thing is more of a good thing. Cauliflower cheese is a sensual dish, don’t feel shamed into offsetting the pleasure with virtue by boiling peas or carrots.
I used to have a real problem with Sundays until I started working from home. The pressure to cram everything in, while somehow relaxing before the working week started all over again was too much. Now, I’m starting to appreciate the slower pace. Moving to a city, where everything doesn’t close at 4 also helps. Hell, a few months ago I make the mistake of walking down Bangor high street on a Sunday. Not a single shop open (besides my beloved Cafe Nero).
Christmas dinner is the exception. All bets are off.
Next year, I promise to make a real effort to learn to love a quiet Sunday. Maybe, I’ll even have a few without leaving the flat. Just pop an M&S nut roast in, put the telly on, and melt into the sofa. Recharging for another week of business as usual.
Cardiff, overlooked from Penarth. Kodak Color Plus 200 // 35mm.
Is there really anything romantic about the city anymore? Or has own online world made the metropolis moot?
I, myself, love the idea that I can go for a coffee at 9 o’clock at night. But that certainly doesn’t mean I ever go for one. For me, it almost boils down to a reassuring pleasure in knowing that I can quite literally hear life bustling on outside my open window, well into the early hours. Perhaps this background stimulation ties into a lifetime of friends convinced that my own constant need for movement is actually the presence of undiagnosed ADHD. The older I get, the more inclined I am to agree with them.
But actually knowing whether the city adds anything at all to my quality of life – or whether it in fact drains plenty away – is something I can no longer turn my head away from. Recently, at a wedding, our bustling table of vegans (don’t worry, we were happily grouped together) took a break from chatting about the uncomfortable strange yellow hue of soya milk, to discuss where we all came from. A topic I find as interesting as it is obligatory for any group of strangers forced to make small talk.
‘London,’ came the first response. In an accent as northern as, well, the woman herself. ‘From Leeds originally, obviously, but been in London for, God, nearly 7 years. I consider myself from London at this point.’
7 years is my own number too. I’ve lived in Cardiff since moving here for university in 2015. And I sort of understand her response, because my love was instant too. Even if, at times, tumultuous. Yet, all this time later, my go-to response remains ‘little town in North Wales,’ followed by the just as dependable ‘probably haven’t heard of it; Colwyn Bay?’
Mural by Colwyn Bay Pier. Kodak Color Plus 200 // 35mm.
I’ve always been conflicted about moving across the country. The main reason being how far away it is from my family. But, really, what it boils down to for me, is because of how obviously a product of my home I am. And when I say home, I of course mean ‘home’ home. I am consistently amazed by how late the buses run (and how cheap the price of all-day travel), by the amount of train stations in our part of South Wales, how late restaurants stay open, and the mere concept of Deliveroo. All things, those that grew up here, probably haven’t ever thought twice about.
There’s also a strange sort of longing I associate with coming from a small town. A nostalgia for dreaming about exactly what I have now. Without knowing a single detail of what it would actually be like. Because, when you’re not from a city, a city could be anything. A sort of frustration that something beautiful and exciting is going on elsewhere, while I stroll up an empty high street and eat chips on the beach.
Footpath alongside Llandaff Cathedral, Cardiff. Kodak Color Plus 200 // 35mm.
So, perhaps that’s why our responses are so different. Leeds, at least to me, is just as much a city as anywhere with rising rents, accessible public transport and nightclubs. But for someone who grew up there? Well, it’s a lifetime of memories, happiness, trauma and frustrations, sure. But it certainly isn’t blind to the reality of everything that the urban demands. And while we can all long for something bigger and more exciting, it can’t be avoided that growing up in a city prepares you well for living there.
Growing up in a small town? It’s incubation. More thinking time than you can imagine. Time spent walking everywhere, time spent at bus stops, always waiting to see if something will change, and always knowing that it likely won’t. It’s being an adult and wondering how long you’ll last before heading home. And whether there’ll be anything left for you when you finally get there.
Tim Wynne 